ADIEU DRY JANUARY, BIENVENUE FEBRUARY. SNAP OUT OF POST-CHRISTMAS HIBERNATION THIS FEBRUARY WITH A CHEESE AND WINE SOIREE. FOLLOW THIS GUIDE ON HOW TO DIRECT YOUR VERY OWN SHOW-STOPPING EVENING SPECTACLE.
Impress your guests with you wealth of fromage facts. Your opening lines should state that much like craft beer, artisan cheese has experienced something of a boom in recent months. Indeed in 2015, Britain sashayed its way to the front of the cheese leader boards, pipping France to be crowned artisan cheese champions.
As the director of the evening’s entertainment, it is important you choose your cast wisely. An all-British line up will ensure nothing is lost in translation. To save you from an arduous selection process, we’ve whipped up a list of potential talent for your British cheese troupe.
Stawley Goat’s Cheese
This butter-soft goat’s cheese has mushroomy undertones, while the cultivated palette will be able to detect nutty infusions. Goat’s cheese is best paired with the fresh and delicate texture of a fig.
Choreography: We recommend encircling the cheese with a ring of dancing fig fruits.
The Cornish Yarg
The Cornish Yarg is a handsome fellow and is likely to arouse female interest. While the ladies are likely to coo over his dashing nettle overcoat, it is what lies underneath that will really impress.
Choreography: This big cheese needs little direction, place him center stage for maximum exposure.
The White Nancy
No fromage ensemble is complete without the debutante; this graceful cheese was aptly named after the cheese maker’s girlfriend.
Choreography: Embellish her with a melee of delicate blooms. Orchids complement her beauty perfectly allowing her to elegantly work her way around the dining room.
The Stinking Bishop
Lighten the mood of your cheese banquet with this comic character. This guy is adept at pulling out quick-witted one liners, meanwhile his strangely potent odour is sure to create some hilarity amidst the seated audience. This chap has a gooey interior while the rind is soaked in Perry infusing the entire cheese with pear flavours.
Choreography: This cheese was created by the local drunkard whose name was Bishop. Surround him therefore with bottles of wine to enable him to benefit from his highly amusing drunken quips.
The silver fox of the production: this gent began his career in cheese productions in the 12th century. Well respected and revered, this cheese is characterised by its deep meaty flavours.
Choreography: Partner with a selection of cold meats to allow this gent to fully expose his cultivated credentials.
All cheeses are available to buy online from The Fine Cheese Co www.finecheese.co.uk